A Crisis Arrives

This morning I opened my eyes exactly at 6 AM and got out of bed at 6:10 AM.
But a small crisis came. I felt like I didn't want to do this.
I even thought it would be more comfortable to live being chased by time like before.

Contradictory Feelings

I definitely thought living an ideal routine life would make me happy and content. Actually, the past 3 days were satisfying.
But why did I suddenly feel so reluctant?

Searching for the Source of Motivation

Maybe I still don't know myself accurately?
I don't think unconditionally suppressing these emerging feelings is a good approach.

Where does my motivation come from?
What makes me move? I felt like I wanted to know more about that source.

Last night I had a dream about taking the college entrance exam.
I thought of my high school senior friends I know.